Name: Dane Alexander
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Personality: Short-temped, conceited, outgoing, sarcastic, fun-loving, adventurous, argumenative, brave, protective, charismatic, charming, humorous, moody, observant.
Description: Dark brown perfectly tousled hair, forrest green eyes, muscular, normally wears dress clothes, known to wear crazy ties.
Mini Biography: Dane grew up in San Diego, California with his mom, alcoholic father, and bossy older brother Marc. When he was fourteen, his father came home drunk and hit his mother. He never forgot the sight, which is why is against drinking. Dane and his father, John, do not have a good relationship because of that evening. When Dane was seventeen, John abandoned his family and moved to Oklahoma.
Dane took care of his mother, Karen, until he moved out to North Carolina when he was twenty-seven to take a job as a police officer. Marc and Dane work in the same state, but Marc is in the FBI, which is where Dane always wanted to be, which caused a strain in the brothers' relationship.
Dane married the girl of his dreams, Lisa, when he was twenty-eight. A few years later, Lisa and Dane gave birth to McKenzie. Later, they gave birth to Elliot. McKenzie is eight years old and Elliot is four years old.
Although Dane is very outgoing and charismatic, Dane has constant thoughts about his wife divorcing him because his job requires most of his attention, since he and Lisa always argue about how time consuming his job is. Dane's biggest fear is losing his family.
He has an extremely short temper and is moody quite often, which is why his family and co-workers get angry at him almost everyday. Dane is known to blow up, even at a crime scene. He has thrown equipment because of his anger and has nearly lost his job multiple times.
Dane relates to others really well. He loves going to parties and just having fun. He is a people person and a people pleaser. Dane is the life of the party. He is always cracking a joke or making a sarcastic comment, though he would never try to purposely hurt someone's feelings with his jokes.
What do you think about him?
Thanks! Much appreciated!Do you like my main character?
No, not realistic at all, flaws like ';a short temper'; are not deep enough. No one could relate to this stock character, and if no one can be emotionally invested in the main character what's the point of writing a story.Do you like my main character?
Well I guess, but your confusing me when you say he's a people person, but people get mad at him almost everyday.
Whatever it's your story though...
Yes, I love your main character. I think he is very interesting.
Readers fall in love with a character based on that character's Voice in your manuscript. You can have a fabulous character sketched out but what matters is the execution on the page. Also, what draws us to characters is not just their personality but how they handle whatever they're up against.
Dane certainly has his fair share of flaws and good points but I can't say whether I'd like him until I read him. I will say that telling us he's constantly short-tempered with people and throws equipment at crime scenes but then following that with ';he relates to others really well'; seems like a huge contradiction.
The character is one dimensional and boring. Besides, readers want to learn about their characters by what they do, not by some resume that the author presents. Try writing your character into a story and see if he comes alive.
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